5/7/09

yuck.


So I'm sitting here feeling like I've been slit open in the abdomen, shoved full of man-eating piranhas, closed back up, and left to slowly bleed and die while little beasts devour my female-ness innerds bite by painful bite. ...and it's gray and cloudy outside...And I'm thinking to myself that this should be SO much more glamorous than uterus-eating piranhas...in the gray darkness...and then I was like, "how do you photograph a tampon?" {random, I know, but that's how genius strikes...}

Out of the several shots this nasty little bugger would give me, these were the best two and I'm so pleased. {the tampon was a little bit restless} ...And I added a few little sparkles because that's totally what it's like to be a girl - all sparkly and shiny and brightness, growing up like a blossoming flower. These are the things I have to think about so I don't go out and attack somebody right now.


Oh, and F.Y.I. ---if a photo is too big to view, you can usually click the control (command) key and the (-) minus key and that should shrink it down. Likewise, Ctrl and (+) will enlarge a photo.

26 comments:

Sarah (Team Chilton) said...

That's up there with funniest posts I have ever seen (sorry I should comment more often...I love reading your blog, I've been a subscriber for a year or so...since the apron swap last year). Thanks for always making me smile!
You ROCK!

Lola....L..O..L..A....lo--oh--luh! said...

That is so perfect! I had a Gay man friend once that always used to tell me, "I can't trust ANYTHING that bleeds for a week.....and lives!"

Kristi said...

Don'tcha just LOVE being a girl? Hope you're feeling better soon.

Jilly Bean said...

You poor girl! Good luck with those piranhas. In the mean time, I'm glad you're laughing about it.

Brenbren said...

I love the photos. Could you email them that to me? brenbren13@ymail.com

michellejohnnie said...

You should sell those pictures or make lovely greeting cards out of them!!! They would sell loke hot cakes!!!

Shana said...

I always drown my sorrows in ice cream!

Your cool friend Cheryl said...

Who knew a tampon could look so glamorous?? :)

jayne said...

I feel your misery. Literally. As we speak. Great women have the same cycles....

Abby said...

hahaha! I should totally sell them, huh?! Hey, if you can't laugh at it then SOMETHIN'S wrong. I am going to make it my life's mission to make our "down there torment" as glamorous as possible!!!

Richardson Family said...

My sentiments exactly...just a couple days earlier! Take care of yourself!

Tif said...

You never cease to make me laugh!! :)

Jeanneoli said...

A tampoon has never looked more lovely!!!!

Terri said...

Oh, dear - I hope you're feeling better soon! Love the photos, though - out of misery comes great art, right? :) ((hugs))

Jennifer said...

Super Absorbency never looked so good. Ha!

erica said...

Very funny. Love the sparkles. Your blog is fantastic : )

It' an Evolution said...

Had to do a double take there. Sorry for your suffering...just be happy you have uterus...lost mine this past christmas...the uterus eating pirahnas were too much to take any more :)
Thanks for the giggles
Janet

Happy Mom said...

You crack me up!!! If it makes you feel any better, I feel yucky too... but because #4 should be arriving ANY DAY and I'm at the miserable stage with AZ 100+ heat... AND my doc told me today that he won't be on call again until LABOR DAY (fitting, but is it a sign?)... which means he won't be delivering my baby unless I go several days over!

Happy Mom said...

Hey Abby, this is Kristi H in Tucson! Ha, Ha, I just realized the common mistake I make... Labor day and Memorial day... I always confuse them. My doc isn't on call until Memorial Day.

Corinne Baird said...

The sparkles are a nice touch. :-) Sure miss you girl. What's your family's blog AGAIN!!! Why do I always lose that?

Our Complete Family said...

Feel better soon!
Love your new bangs. Super cute and fun for spring!
The flowers for hair clippies you made are so neat-o! I will be making some for my little Miss Priss!
And thanks for the menu thingy. That is way too handy!
Hugs, Les

Jen V said...

Love your website! I just found it today (thanks to a friend) I also love your dinner ideas!
My friends and I just started a food blog - for easy, fast, family friendly dinners - you should check it out at
www.breakingthereciperut.blogspot.com

Amanda said...

I am the achievement day leader in my ward for the 10-11 year old girls. They got on the "period" topic last week. I was sweating bullets....they even said " can you believe the school nurse showed us a diagram of how to use a tampon?" I was silent and sweating....

I love the pictures! I'm laughing!

PamperingBeki said...

Bahaha!!

Hysterical.

Annalea said...

Okay, here's something totally out of the trend with previous comments: drink an herbal tea made from equal parts red raspberry leaf and blessed thistle. If that's too bitter for you, then cut out the blessed thistle and add in comfrey leaf, alfalfa leaf, and a little spearmint or peppermint. (3 parts red raspberry leaf, 1 part comfrey leaf, 1 part alfalfa leaf, 1/4 part mint). Steep 1 t. per 8oz boiling water for 15 minutes. Strain and sweeten with honey, stevia, or agave nectar. (Please, no white/brown sugar. That works against what the tea does for you. ;o) Make up a half gallon at a time and drink it in two days.

Your cramps will nearly disappear after doing this for a while. Some women notice a big difference after just a couple weeks, others take a little longer. One thing is for sure, though--you'll notice a difference. That red raspberry is a specific uterine toner, and has lots of highly-assimilable natural calcium and potassium, which help eliminate cramping all together.

And now, back to a more "usual" comment . . . I totally understand the photo-fetish thing. lol I have my pet photos that I love, and I love taking them!

brigette said...

i think i love you because you're insane.